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Discussion Starter #21
Thx guys for the different POV. I've just never been the type to take -free money- from anyone. If they gifted me a gift out of kindness, like a buddy who I help all the time and occasionally he will gift me with another new -tool- to put into my tool draw, I don't really give it a second thought.

Said neighbor is retired. I'm sure he can afford it. I'm just not the type that easily takes -cash-. Even though its a GC and if it was a smaller monetary amount, I would not have given it much thought. Just the benji is throwing this into a bit of a I kinda owe now, sorta feeling
 

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Funny you mention helping others, I've done that many times. One time the other year a neighbor was struggling after a good snow, I blew her walk in no time. Later she came by and told me how much she appreciated the help, she was fighting the flu at the time. Another neighbor has tried to pay me several times, and I've explained I do it because I want to. We came up with a good solution, when it snows I clean in front of her garage and in turn I can park my vehicle there while I blow the area in front of mine. Win-win solution. I've also gotten some cookies before, all good.
 

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I would accept the GC, and then thank them like you said. Don't give it back as that could insult them. The $100 could be $5 to them. You never know which of your neighbors are multi-millionaires with more money than they know what to do with. Maybe they figure they have more than they will ever need, and their kids will fight over it anyway. Perhaps in the future, you can jokingly tell them that if they ever try to pay you ever again, you will absolutely refuse to clear their driveway.

Sounds like good people, and you know, most people are good.
 

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Another thing is they might not have used $$ to pay for. I have used credit card points to buy gift cards ranging fro 10$ to 200$. I keep them in my desk for gifts


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I would say "learn to be gracious". If kindness offends you, how do you think the giver feels about your rejection of their gift? If nothing else, give those Tokens of Thanks to someone less fortunate. I also have a hard time accepting gifts or money but I'm getting better.
 

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It is also nice to allow others to be generous. Many times it is an insult and not worth it to try and return things. Obviously these people appreciate you and what you did and it's okay. They also may be greasing the wheels in case they need a hand in the future ;) . If i was the opposite and you charged them or were upset the card was too low there would be a problem. Sometimes things mean more to someone than we think they do.

:)
 

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Maybe you should just accept their generosity in return for your generosity. Continue what you've been doing for them, but if they should try giving you more, tell them that you never expected anything, they had already done more than enough, you felt guilty in accepting their first gift, and that while you appreciate their gesture, you cannot accept it.

I had an elder neighbor "ambush" me once by leaving a $25.00 gift certificate to a restaurant in an envelope in my mailbox. I couldn't even be there to refuse it. I didn't want to offend her, so I thanked her, but also said (in a semi joking way) that I would have to stop taking care of her driveway if she did it again. She hasn't. :)
Schneetag is right. If you are friendly with the neighbor, you can let them know that you are happy to help, but if they did that again, you wouldn't help them. I don't think they would be offended by you saying that.

I was in a similar situation the other day. I helped a neighbor with a somewhat small section of their driveway and driveway apron in the 18-20 inch storm we had. They responded by dropping off a $25 gift card to Dunkin Donuts in the mailbox. When I saw them the other day I told them that I appreciated it and that they didn't have to do that.

What I usually do for all the neighbors is the sidewalks. It is a straight line, so all I have to do is put it in first and walk behind, easy peasy. If it is a blockbuster storm (12+) I will help with the driveway aprons from all of the plowed snow. I usually wont do driveways because they are tight, and I would not want the machine to scratch or damage a vehicle. I have always helped out neighbors in the larger storms free of charge, especially an older gentleman that lived down the street. For about 15 years I did his whole driveway and sidewalks. Most times he simply thanked me, but sometimes in years where we had large amounts of snowfall, he would give me 5 or 10 dollars, or his wife would make a homemade banana bread.

I know that if someone helps me out with something, I don't feel right unless I do something for them to say thank you. Also, I am usually outside making noise working on other projects / vehicles in the spring, summer, and fall. If they are willing to tolerate me making a little bit of a nuisance, I will gladly continue to snow blow.
 

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Earlier this year I helped a friend of my dad (guy is in his 70s) who suffered a minor stroke a few years ago and when visiting him found out part of the roof metal on his building had come loose. I offered to go up and fix it and after I did he had a $50.00 bill to pay me. I said "no" and he insisted but I told him that I hoped when I was 70 years old and in a similar situation a 50 year old (like me) would be there to help me out. He was thankful and put the money away.

I also know the $20.00 and tin of butter cookies my elderly neighbor gave me for cleaning their front steps/walkway during the winter years ago was a way not to feel so "useless" in their old age. I will refuse payment twice then accept it as I realize saying no repeatedly makes the other person fell bad being able not to do something in return for my goodwill that they may not be able to pay back other than money.
 

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Never say no to cookies 😁 just pray they don't substitute one ingredient for another (inappropriate) ingredient because they didn't have it in their pantry. My wife's aunt used to do that quite regularly. Can be an eye-opener at times :rolleyes:
 

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Just an additional comment here. I believe in 'pay it forward'. My neighbor summed it up the best: "Who knows what's happening first - family or neighbors?". Several years back, my Dad had passed and my Mom was living alone in a small town several hundred miles away. They were having a big snow and I called her to check what was going on. There was a background sound and when I asked her what it was she said there was a guy blowing the snow off her walks and drive, for the 4th time that day. Not a big deal except she said it was 4 different people and not one of them was the guy she had hired to do her snowblowing.
Neither Mom nor Dad are still with us, but someone helped them out purely based on the goodness of their heart, I happened to meet one of them a year later - a DAV that enjoyed doing what he could do to help others. I always think someone helped her because of some of the people I helped in the past. Unless something happens I plan to keep helping people out, snowblowing or otherwise. Such a small cost with such a big return (warm feelings).
 

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If a neighbor gives me something for clearing snow or looking after their house I graciously say thanks and make sure to tell then didnt have to. Its not like they "hired" you to a job. One one side I have a exbiker with a really bad back that I will blow his driveway with my backpack blower. His driveway touches mine so by the time I blow off the spill from mine its just as easy to do his. Hes a really good guy and his "presence" on my street is payment enough!
Last winter I looked after the snow for my neighbor 3 doors down when he went on vacation for 2 months. We didnt set a price but he paid me a fair compensation when he returned. He offered to pay so I accepted. I have absolutely no problem spending my time. But its nice to get something to cover some of the price of fuel/maint/repairs.
 
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If a neighbor gives me something for clearing snow or looking after their house I graciously say thanks and make sure to tell then didnt have to. Its not like they "hired" you to a job. One one side I have a exbiker with a really bad back that I will blow his driveway with my backpack blower. His driveway touches mine so by the time I blow off the spill from mine its just as easy to do his. Hes a really good guy and his "presence" on my street is payment enough!
Last winter I looked after the snow for my neighbor 3 doors down when he went on vacation for 2 months. We didnt set a price but he paid me a fair compensation when he returned. He offered to pay so I accepted. I have absolutely no problem spending my time. But its nice to get something to cover some of the price of fuel/maint/repairs.
Totally agree but it took me many years to become comfortable (gracious) enough to accept anything in return. My plow truck is an old diesel that must be plugged in for several hours before it will even try to start and the wear and tear on the plow and lift motor hasn't exactly been cheap. I now accept gratuities from my neighbors if offered.
 

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Pray for snow and plow it again! Benji helloooo!

More serious Charity is easier to give than receive. you’re stuck with it.
 

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It’s a great feeling to be able to help a neighbor i agree.
and even nice when they acknowledg, even with just a text thank you

i believe there is some good karma coming your way
 

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Maybe you should just accept their generosity in return for your generosity. Continue what you've been doing for them, but if they should try giving you more, tell them that you never expected anything, they had already done more than enough, you felt guilty in accepting their first gift, and that while you appreciate their gesture, you cannot accept it.

I had an elder neighbor "ambush" me once by leaving a $25.00 gift certificate to a restaurant in an envelope in my mailbox. I couldn't even be there to refuse it. I didn't want to offend her, so I thanked her, but also said (in a semi joking way) that I would have to stop taking care of her driveway if she did it again. She hasn't. :)
I shouldn't have written this.^ Now I have to eat my own words.:) My wife just brought in the mail. Apparently my elder neighbor just did it again! She left an envelope containing a "thank you" card, and a $25.00 gift card for our grocery store in the mailbox. At least it's been a few years... We'll be sure to thank her.
 

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Being gracious is a learned response. You are never to old to learn. I am 70 and still learning how to be kind and gracious when a neighbor reciprocates.
 
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